Peeeeuwwwww

Depending on where you live you may or not be aware that Magnolia Meadow is in the throes of a stink bug invasion this year. We're not alone, as evidenced by the fact that it made national news and there's even a funny Facebook page for the Stinkbug Overlords.

At first it was weird. Then funny. Then annoying, and then just plain ridiculous. These bugs are everywhere. My house is full of them. And by full I mean that if I lie on my bed and just wait, I can usually see at least two crawling around my room somewhere. All the time.

I went along just killing them as I saw them at first. This required some experimentation and innovation since, when you scare or kill them, they emit a nasty odor, so you sort of have to sneak up on them and "dispose" of them without killing them. You cannot vaccuum them up live, because they stink in the vacuum bag, which, as you know gets hot, and only increases the stink factor.

I resorted to a fairly successful (though time and resource consuming) bait and switch method:

Me: Oh! Hello little bug friend, how are you?

Bug: Super, thanks, just enjoying nomming on the tip of your toothbrush here.

Me: Yes, well, that looks like fun, and I'm happy to just boil that toothbrush before I use it next, really, no problem there, but I thought you might want to join me by the pool!

Bug: Pool?

Me: Oh yes, you see, I have a little space all staked out over there by the paddling pool...there's a couple of chaise lounges by the cabana, with snacks and stuff. There's even a sexy little cabana beetle and a bunch of your friends are already there!

Bug: Well, you know I can't swim, but I could use a snack and I sure haven't seen much action around here, so it's tempting.

Me: Yeah, cool, no, I'll just plop you into a chair by the side, no worries about the water.

Bug: Oh, well, okay, maybe I'll wander over there later.

Me: Sure, you could do that, but you know what? I'm headed that way, let me just give you a lift, save you the crawling! Really, it's not trouble.

Bug: What the hell, let's go.

So, up he goes onto my soft little tissue chariot and we head for the pool all nonchalant like.

Bug: Hey, I don't see any of my friends over here, I thought you said....

All of a sudden I stumble, (or trip on a carcass or something) and Mr. Stink bug goes flying riiiiiiight into the pool.

Me: Oh NOooooo! I'm SO SORRY!

Bug (looking around at the other "swimmers" in the pool): Hey, guys! Wait, what the he.....blub blub blub......

And the rest is history. Only, here's the thing. You have to stand there and watch while the pool "drains" because I kid you not, sometimes they resurface! Too much.

I see no end in sight here and I'm just about at my wits end. I clean, I keep windows closed, I clean some more, but they just keep appearing. This morning I was brushing my teeth (I now keep my toothbrush locked away, under cover in a bug-free zone) and I looked down at the plastic handle on my sink (the one you pull up to get the water to come out) and wedged up INSIDE the faucet is a stink bug. Just sitting in there, eyeballing me, all "how YOU doin'?" As if he's just been waiting for me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh I'm on the verge of calling an exterminator except that two of the people I live with break out in hideous hives and spontaneous bloody noses if I so much as use Lysol on the counters, so a chemical solution to this problem is right out of the question. At least for now. Am otherwise open to suggestions here. Please.

You Near Resolution?

What is it you resolve to do in the New Year?

It's an interesting word. When you break it down, you are re - solving. No?

Which is fitting, somehow, since most of the resolutions people make are "do overs" anyway.

I'm going to lose weight! I'm going to start exercising! I'm going to quit smoking! (er....again, I mean)

Rather than attempting to re-solve something again and again, I'd really like to figure out how to SOLVE some of the problems in my life once and for good.

Therefore, my resolution is to drop the "re" and just find some true solutions this year.

Topping my list this year of things that need attention is addressing "time sucks." Examples include Facebook, where I spend way too much time, very little of which is actually productive. Primarily I've used it as a way to store photos, see other people's photos and keep tabs on my children, but there are other ways to do that instead. I'm not suggesting pulling the plug altogether on social media....after all, I spend a fair amount of time here too, and I consider this to be healthy and productive, but I'm not sure I can say the same about the Book of the Face. Another example is the shuffling I do in lieu of actually addressing all of the paperwork that surrounds my existence. I rearrange it 5 times before I actually sit down and deal with it. I have a number of practices in my life; running, meditation and writing to name a few, and they and my overall organizational well being would all benefit immensely from my getting into the zone a little more often and a little more directly.

Purging is definitely an attempt and fail cycle for me. I am paralyzed by the gross quantity of stuff I have in my life. This problem requires a two pronged solution, addressing not only the purging of what I already have that I do not need, but learning to curb the subsequent and recurrent amassing as well.

Be more present. A perennial favorite on the list this one is. I need to not only tune in more, but I need to stay there, affixed to the channel of my own existence, not constantly distracted by the lure of a better song on a different station.

All of these things hinge on one underlying solution which is my ability to push myself to do the things that need to be done. I'm great at doing the things I want to do, I ran a marathon for God sake! But I'd sure rather run another one than I would tackle the mountain of paperwork on my desk.

"I wish I had more time" and "I just can't find the time" are both code for me. What I am really saying is "I can't make myself do that" and generally I can't because I don't want to. The reasons why I don't want to are myriad, but mostly fall into the categories of "hard" or "scary." I will need to work on eliminating those expressions from my lexicon and admitting to myself what is truly standing in my way.

Resolving to do something again does not make it easier. In fact, I think it might have the opposite affect. We've already failed at it at least once, and we know how easy that was. Failing again is a piece of cake.

Heretofore, I resolve to approach my challenges differently, to demystify and re clarify why some things seem so hard and scary and further I resolve to re intensify my effort in making them less so.

Home again, home again

Lickety Split! Indeed, we managed to shave four hours off of the outgoing time on our return home last night. Much more reasonable and significantly less eventful.

Things for which I am grateful:

1. See above

2. Family harmony

3. Grace and generosity

4. Humor

5. The dog sitters who negotiated one of my pup's sneaky escape and subsequent incarceration at the SPCA.

6. The kindness of an unknown Samaritan who obviously nabbed my dog and took her to the pound.

7. Catchphrase. A game which actually engages and entertains three generations of my family.

8. Patience. Because teaching one teenager to drive is harrowing enough. Letting both of them take turns behind the wheel on the same vacation is down right terrifying.

9. That I had the foresight and wherewith all to insist that we left our home completely tidy a week ago, because it was a joy to return home to that.

10. That I was able to spend a week of what should have been brutally cold winter in shorts and a t-shirt. There's just no way around it, I AM a tropical girl at heart.

All for now. A slew of catch up posts to follow including the one in which I surrender to the stink bugs and another in which we discuss resolve.