Heya

Who me?  Oh just working my arse off and eating my body weight in these:

Yes, seriously.  I LOVE GINGER SNAPS.  Ginger anything is delicious and I just love the word "snap."  As in, "OH SNAP....I haven't written a blog post in, like, forever, I bet everyone thinks I'm dead.  Again." 

Sigh

I have a new job.  It's bigger than the old job.  I spend more time at work than I used to, but so far, that seems fair all things considered.

The book I'm writing is collecting dust.  That's a little bit of a bummer, but can't seem to be helped.

I'm running a race this weekend, at the beach.  It will be good I think, regardless of the outcome.  There will be friends there and we will play afterwards and I really need a day off, so I can't wait!

Other than that I think the planet has really gotten itself into quite a predicament and I'm just not sure what to do about that.  But it's just a big ol' hot mess, dontcha think?  I mean regardless of which KIND of hot mess you think it is, and I appreciate we aren't all at the table of agreement on this, and that's cool, you just can't wave a stick these days with hitting some kind of mess.  Lordy be.

We need to figure some of this stuff out people. 

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Truly!  It's 60 degrees and brilliantly sunny.  I just consumed the worlds best bacon/egg/cheese/everything bagel following a very decent run.  And now, I have the full day to get sh*t done.

I've had several opportunities this week to stop and recognize just how good life is.  A dear friend of ours, the best man in our wedding (22 years ago) went to sleep Sunday and never woke up.  Just like that.  Another friend, with whom I run (well, sort of, we run in the same pack, only he's way out ahead of me...) was just diagnosed with cancer.  Just like that.  Running a marathon one day, headed for surgery, chemo, radiation and a world of hurt one day later.

I used to find these kinds of things unsettling, but I don't really anymore.  I'm not really surprised when I discover that my body isn't working as well as it used to, or when someone else's gives up on them.  It is what it is.  An inevitable reality of aging.  Not in a fatalistic sort of way, that I expect bad things to happen, but when they do, I am not really shocked.

It makes me want to run more and sleep less.  Play more and clean less.  Laugh more and scold less.  Love more and scorn less.

Life is pretty darned simple.  I get what I get, and it's my bad if I didn't make the most of it.  It makes running on a beautiful morning with a friend a wonderful experience.  Drinking coffee with my daughter afterwards a joy.

Life is good.

Horrible, shocking self-discovery

I am totally and completely addicted to caffeine. 

Here's how I know this.

I had to have a "Biometric Screening" done this morning.  That's a fancy way of telling you that you're going to have to stand on the scale, give up some blood and get an admonishing look from a nurse when she tells you what your cholesterol numbers are.  Now, this particular screening was free, which was great, since I just had one done for my daughter, and I paid $150 out of pocket for the part that her insurance didn't cover, so I was all over it.  In any event, you have to FAST in order to get an accurate reading.  And the appointment was at 9:40 a.m.

A.  I woke up grumpy and anxious because I knew I couldn't have coffee (well, I could have, except I can't drink my coffee without milk, so therefore I couldn't).  Apparently I bit almost every one's head off at home.  They scattered the minute they realized what was happening.  Self-preservation is a strong instinct in my gene pool, thank goodness.

B.  I somehow made it to work without running off the road or killing anyone.  I even navigated the parking garage which is a complete and total clusterF***.

C.  I got the absolute DUMBEST, most IDIOTIC, INANE, INFANTILE emails between 8:00 and 9:30 a.m. this morning.

And then, it dawned on me.  It wasn't that those emails were more idiotic than normal, it's just that WITH caffeine, I am better equipped to respond without actually telling people how stupid I think they are being.  Caffeine is a tool, without which I cannot deal with the sad sad reality of life.

Wow.  Huge light dawning over cloudy skies.  Ironically, this does not make me want to give up caffeine.  In fact, this makes me want to drive to the grocery store, buy every bag of java they have and start a stockpile in my basement because I am going to be in big big big trouble if ever I run out of coffee. 

Yes, that's right Jack Nicholson, I just can't handle the truth.  And I'm okay with that.

Amen

p.s.  It turns out that (aside from the aforementioned issue) I'm REALLY REALLY healthy.  ha!