This may explain the unemployment problem

I have a vacancy in my office.  It is an administrative position, in a fast paced, occasionally high pressured environment.  It is not, however, rocket science that we do here.  Therefore, and because it is with a major academic institution and because it is an administrative role, I felt confident that the posting would generate some positive response.

Sure enough, I have just waded through 123 applications for said position.  Great, right?  Wrong.

Of the 123, I found 5 that I was willing to interview.

I have a couple of general comments I would, therefore, like to post to the unemployed public at large that might assist them in keeping their resumes out of future circular bins:

• Do not apply for positions that are not relevant to your experience. 
• There is a fine line between an appropriate amount of "distinction" in terms of your resume design aesthetic and letting your 4th grader create it in power point.  
• Spell and punctuate your address correctly.  If you abbreviate the word "drive" as "dr" in your address, or you spell any part of your name/address incorrectly, or in lower case, I am not reading any further.
• Tense.  Tense.  Tense.  And I am not talking about how I felt after reading all these resumes, I am talking about your narrative in reference to activities you "done did".  With me? 
• Do not list "fluctuating price of gas" as your motivation for leaving your current position and moving to mine.
• Do not list "running errands" as one your primary job functions.  

Sigh

I do have to give a shout out, however, to the applicant who made my day in telling me that they were seeking a "changeling position within my organization."

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/changeling

Indeed.