Dear Muammar Gaddafi,
Hope this finds you well. So, I assume you've seen the news this morning, yes. Well. Unfortunately business that. When I said that your girlfriend could suck a golf ball through a garden hose I hope you know that I meant that as a compliment in the most respectful way possible. Truly. Her talents are unparalleled in my personal experience, and she makes one hell of a Mai-Tai, though I can't imagine she'll be making me any more of those any time soon.
If it is any consolation, things could be worse. You could be Iran just discovering that Jordan has designs on their real estate, or you could be Kim Jong Il who was already probably having a bad day and now finds that everyone knows it was he who brought those missiles to the party.... BYOM dudes!
Just wanted to say sorry and all that. No hard feelings, hopefully. I probably won't be visiting for a while though. Just in case.
Lots of Love,