Thursday, December 30, 2010

You Near Resolution?

What is it you resolve to do in the New Year?

It's an interesting word. When you break it down, you are re - solving. No?

Which is fitting, somehow, since most of the resolutions people make are "do overs" anyway.

I'm going to lose weight! I'm going to start exercising! I'm going to quit smoking! (er....again, I mean)

Rather than attempting to re-solve something again and again, I'd really like to figure out how to SOLVE some of the problems in my life once and for good.

Therefore, my resolution is to drop the "re" and just find some true solutions this year.

Topping my list this year of things that need attention is addressing "time sucks." Examples include Facebook, where I spend way too much time, very little of which is actually productive. Primarily I've used it as a way to store photos, see other people's photos and keep tabs on my children, but there are other ways to do that instead. I'm not suggesting pulling the plug altogether on social media....after all, I spend a fair amount of time here too, and I consider this to be healthy and productive, but I'm not sure I can say the same about the Book of the Face. Another example is the shuffling I do in lieu of actually addressing all of the paperwork that surrounds my existence. I rearrange it 5 times before I actually sit down and deal with it. I have a number of practices in my life; running, meditation and writing to name a few, and they and my overall organizational well being would all benefit immensely from my getting into the zone a little more often and a little more directly.

Purging is definitely an attempt and fail cycle for me. I am paralyzed by the gross quantity of stuff I have in my life. This problem requires a two pronged solution, addressing not only the purging of what I already have that I do not need, but learning to curb the subsequent and recurrent amassing as well.

Be more present. A perennial favorite on the list this one is. I need to not only tune in more, but I need to stay there, affixed to the channel of my own existence, not constantly distracted by the lure of a better song on a different station.

All of these things hinge on one underlying solution which is my ability to push myself to do the things that need to be done. I'm great at doing the things I want to do, I ran a marathon for God sake! But I'd sure rather run another one than I would tackle the mountain of paperwork on my desk.

"I wish I had more time" and "I just can't find the time" are both code for me. What I am really saying is "I can't make myself do that" and generally I can't because I don't want to. The reasons why I don't want to are myriad, but mostly fall into the categories of "hard" or "scary." I will need to work on eliminating those expressions from my lexicon and admitting to myself what is truly standing in my way.

Resolving to do something again does not make it easier. In fact, I think it might have the opposite affect. We've already failed at it at least once, and we know how easy that was. Failing again is a piece of cake.

Heretofore, I resolve to approach my challenges differently, to demystify and re clarify why some things seem so hard and scary and further I resolve to re intensify my effort in making them less so.

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