My darling daughter has shed most of her downy feathers and is busily flapping around the nest, anxious for a solo flight and, frankly, almost ready. My ability to embrace and actually enjoy this process correlates to my ability to suspend my fear and anxiety on her behalf. I find, when I look at her through more of a "friend" lens, that I can become engaged and excited about the endless possibilities which await her. The "mommy" lens, however, clouds and obscures the potential and joy and focuses in on the potential peril and logistical challenges.
It is a full time job currently, switching glasses.
I discovered something this weekend, however, in wearing the friend spectacles for a few days while she and I were having some fun two-girl time out of town. The uninterrupted ability to just appreciate and encourage who she was and what she wants to do and become for herself made me realize that I have stopped switching the focus on my own life. I realize that I have been wearing pretty dark shades to view who I am and what I am doing.
The spirit of adventure that I embrace on her behalf I have completely ceased to embrace on my own.
I, therefore, have reestablished for myself asking regularly the question "What CAN I do today?" as opposed to "What do I HAVE to do today?" It's making me a little giddy, so far, which, frankly, is kind of fun! Try it!