Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Changing Gears

It was a successful Thanksgiving holiday chez nous.  Not without it's drama....the oven died 30 minutes into the turkey roasting process (yes, like some horrible episode of Friends), but, with uncharacteristically minimal amounts of flipping out, the Head Chef crafted a very suitable Plan B, involving the gas grill, and dinner was on the table within an hour of it's originally scheduled time.  The sous chefs, however, had a bit of a spat over the sanctity of the dessert leftovers that resulted in this ominous signage (which seemed to do the trick).

Because it was balmy shorts weather here the day thereafter, I managed to get ALL of the Christmas decorations done (photos to follow) and now it looks like the Pier One holiday section threw up all over my house.  Fabulous.  So happy!  Bring it on Santa!!!

When I say ALL the decorations I'm probably lying.  I get everything up each year which is totally my gig, solo, because I am SUCH A CONTROL FREAK.  Of course, the kids decorate the tree, but once they lose interest and wander away, I always come back and do a "minor" readjustment just to ensure balance, and double check that none of the irreplaceable ornaments got mistakenly hung below the tail wagging line.  WOUND UP LABRADORS + CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS = SADNESS AND CRUSHING (literally) DISAPPOINTMENT for control freaks like me.  Learned this one the hard way.  In any event, my inside shtick is pretty much set (the house is not that big) but every year, once I get all the lights up, I invariably decide that I'm just not quuuuuuuiiiiiiiite there yet, and add something new to the collection.  This year it was two strands of blinky white snowflakes (about 6" round) that I strung to the bottom of my Bradford Pear tree (which STILL has leaves, hello?  clearly it hasn't gotten the Mother Nature Memo). For the record, I draw the line at anything inflatable so I do have some pretty well defined quality standards, but this whole "not quite done" thing is a problem and explains the ever expanding number of Tuppertotes I seem to need just to house the collection.  And for the record, to differentiate myself for single celled amoebas by remembering something I previously said here, I do fully acknowledge and admit that even HAVING a Chrismtas "collection" in the first place is totally and completely a first world, 1% percent, self indulgence.   While the baby Jesus might have stared in wonder, I'm pretty sure the grown up Jesus would not be so happy with me.  (I did just make a donation to the Food Bank that exceeded the amount I spent on decorations this year, just to help assuage my guilt).

Anyhoo.  There's the context of my week, more details to follow.

The real reason for writing is that my office is preparing holiday cards that we send out to colleagues (docs) here at the hospital.  I think the list is like 180.  Of course, we're not all Christian here at the hospital, so we have to default to "holiday" cards, which, in a word, according to my daughter, the Shiite Catholic (who keeps slipping copies of the catechism into my bag, my dresser, my bedside table as a not so subtle hint that she's worried that I'm going to hell, which is kind of cute, in a slightly disturbing way) is "EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD."

I did manage to find some cute ones.  One just says "Seasons Greetings" all over it.  One says "Peace on Earth" which I think is a great message, regardless of the time of year.  But then the cards start to go south...."Warm Holiday Wishes Festive New Year Celebrate the Season" yes, all on the front of the card.  I think the only thing missing there is the "Don't Drink and Drive"slogan.  Sheez.  The winner thus far, however, are the cards that have a picture of snow covered trees (outlined in glitter, natch) and the word "Peace" on the front.  So far, not so bad, but the message inside reads "May the peace of the season fall gently upon you."  Really?  I don't know about you, but I don't want anything falling on me, gently or not.  I flipped the box over.  "Hecho in CHINA for Kmart Corporation."  Sigh.

Focus on the tree.  Focus on the tree.  Focus on the tree.  (Which I got, by the way, and it looks super fun!)  Ho Ho Ho.

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