Tuesday, February 1, 2011


The Mother of Invention!

The only reasons why I haven't shaved my head bald at this point in my life are: 

a) EVERYONE would assume, given my age, that I'm dying of cancer and while I could endure the drama, I would hate to detract any attention from the people who really truly are and....

b) I have a lumpy head and ginormous ears and it just really wouldn't be a good look for me. It doesn't look good any shorter than the bottom of the ears.  My hair is, in fact, just an ear sweater for my head, if you will.  That is its most useful function....to camouflage the satellite dishes.  (I'm secure, but we all have our limits, non?)

But, my hair makes me crazy!  It's too short, too long, too limp, too dry, too frizzy, too brown, etc.  It is a constant afterthough for me.  Clothes, shoes, work stuff, wallet.....oh, crap.....HAIR!

I'll make the effort (dry it, curl it, twirl it) and yet the minute I sit down at my desk, I'm constantly on the hunt for a scrunchie so I can pull it back and pretend it's just gone.  No scrunchie?  I can use a pen, or a pencil, as long as the surface isn't too slick.

Well, today, I had a bit of a brainstorm.  I managed to put my hair up with a PAPER CLIP!!!  Yes, one of those big fat paperclips that we working drones have at our constant disposal.  A little untwisting of the clip, a little sweep, twist, tuck and rewrapping of the end of the clip and VOILA! 

I need to do something (else) with my life.  I'm pretty sure this will end up being the highlight of my day, and that's just sad.

I'm open to suggestions. 

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