Friday, June 10, 2011

Sh*t my son says

Since I want to present a balanced view of my general craziness.....

Yesterday was middle school graduation.  (Praise be to Buddha!)  Whereas my daughter would have pre-negotiated the entire "what to wear" issue for weeks, my son, (who subscribes to the cover-the-top-cover-the-bottom school of fashion) required a little prompting.

I believe in aiming high so I started here:

"I'd like you to wear khakis and a tie to graduation please"


"Yes, that's what other kids are wearing."

"WHAT??? Why?  Who really cares?  It's not like anyone is going to pay attention to me in that big crowd."

"I care, we're taking pictures, you're crossing the stage...etc, please line up clothes the night before so I know it's done since we won't have much time."


When I woke him up that morning it was my first question.  He waved in the general direction of a subset of the ginormous pile of clothes in his room.

"WHAT?  You can't wear those pants .... they don't even fit!"  And it digressed from there.

Not to belabor the point, but he ended up in an oxford shirt and madras shorts.  I was happy with that middle ground, since I didn't have a tie that matched the shorts anyway.  Shoes, however, became a sticking point.

"You can't wear black loafers with blue plaid shorts."

"Why NOT?" 

"Wear the tan loafers."

"I don't want to wear those they are new."

"That's okay, they're fine to wear to this."

"I don't want to wear those."

"Why not?"

"Mom.  I want to get as much wear out of this pair as I can before I start a brand new pair."

For some reason, I just thought that was hilarious.  Shoes are like toothbrushes for him.   You don't get a new pair until the old pair wear out.  One at a time!  Clearly the complete antithesis of my daughter's and my theory on footwear.  :)

We settled on a neutral pair of Keens instead (a lucky  hand-me-down from a friend who hit puberty first).

As it turned out, my son won an award at graduation and had the honor of walking up on stage, solo, to collect his prize, and his grandmother remarked "Oh!  Doesn't he look so nice up there!"  I just smiled.

See?  You never know when you're going to stand out in the crowd, and when you do, you'd better believe people notice what you're wearing.

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