Friday, June 10, 2011

Help Wanted

I'm about to post for an administrative position in my office.

After pouring through past employee's job descriptions and performance reviews, I believe I have come up with an accurate itemization of the qualifications that seem to comprise our typical hire.

1. Inability to show up on time or consistently.

2. Intense family problems that can only be negotiated on the phone and only if you do so VERY loudly and insist on the sharing of inappropriate details at inopportune times.

3. Passive aggressive attitude towards being assigned tasks

4. Flailing love life

5. Horrid financial or legal issues

6. Inability to conjugate English verbs, minimal understanding of pronoun usage and predilection for dangling any and all participles.

7. Questionable apparel choices

8.  Constant gum chewing

Can you think of anything I might be missing?  It's hard because, clearly, you  have to be some serious kind of special to swim in the shallow end of OUR pool.

1 comment:

  1. oh! oh! pick me pick me! I only meet about half those qualifications. lol