Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Festivities and fluid retention

Who knew you could deep fry country ham?  Well. you can, you know.  And it is delicious.  But just in case you've never tried this little delicacy, I must warn you...when you wake up the next morning you cannot bend your fingers and your shoes will not fit because you are retaining so much fluid you can barely move.

The jury is still out on whether or not it was worth it.

I had a good Christmas, thanks for asking.  It went something like this:

Christmas Eve Day
8:00 a.m. run with friends
10:00 a.m. brunch with same friends (way more fun than the run) (drank bloody caesars....which are like bloody marys only with Clamato juice instead of regular tomato juice, ommmnomnom)
12:00 p.m. mad last minute dash to grocery store (not pretty as I am horrible at drunk-shopping.  example: I go into the store for MILK, BUTTER, SWISS CHEESE and I come out with Eggnog, anchovies, spray cheese and 2lbs of shrimp.  WTH?)
2:00 p.m. cocktail party chez good friends currently on verge of divorce (drank several glasses of wine just to cut the edge off of the awkwardness)
4:00 p.m. stopped by the bar to pick daughter up after her shift (props to her for keeping it together because no one wants to work Christmas Eve day.)  The restaurant closed at 4:00 that day.  Apparently (I heard this from the bartenders who were still laughing about it when I got there) she had the following conversation with a potential patron on the phone at 3:45:

Caller:  Hello, we would like to make a reservation for tomorrow (CHRISTMAS) evening please.
Her:  I'm sorry, we're closed on Christmas.
Caller:  What?  You're closed tomorrow?
Her:  Yes, we're CLOSED tomorrow, it's Christmas!
Caller:  Well, where are we supposed to have dinner?  What else is open tomorrow?
Her:  I'm pretty sure 7-ll is open tomorrow.  Why don't you try there?
Caller:  (silence)
Her:  You have a nice holiday.  Buh-bye

heh heh heh

Back to my agenda:

5:00 Clean the house (because over my dead body will anyone open gifts in a dirty living room)
7:00  Make crucial decision.  More alcohol or nap?
7:05  Pour a glass of wine
7:15  Wrap packages
10:30 Leave for church
11:00 Hymns and Caroling
12:00 Mass
1:40 a.m. Completion of Mass
2:15 a.m.  Move all gifts out under tree
2:40  BED
5:30 a.m.  Husband wakes up
5:31 a.m. I wake up enough to realize it is Christmas and refrain from killing him
7:00 a.m.  Up, coffee, kids up, Christmas gift frenzy
12:00 p.m. Drive across town to BFF's house for Christmas meal (and the aforementioned deep fried ham, which is how this whole conversation got started!!!)

Whew!  In an attempt to atone for my sins, I spent yesterday powerwashing the deck with the hubster and trying (in vain) to repair a leaky toilet.  (tank and innards are strewn about my bathroom as I type this.  toilet, now tankless, can only be flushed with a bucket of water.  of course, i'm strangely fine with this arrangement, having grown up on a boat wherein that's how we did flush the toilet, so i'm a bit of a pro at this, but i'm irritated, nonetheless, that I could not achieve completion on this project and that the tank continues to leak, from a different spot now - natch,  in spite of my efforts.  grrrrr.)

It is almost a relief to be back at work today.  How pathetic is that?

Any guess what my new year's resolution is going to be?  I'll send anyone who gets it right a prize.  :)

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